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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

The ultimate meaning of life is to embrace that which compels you to act in spite of fear.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Spam Slam, Thank You Mam

I think it's time to put a spam block on my computer. I have the other protection packages. But I never bothered with the spam one because, well, I never used to get much spam.

Lately, however, I've been getting a steady stream of emails offering cheap drugs. Most of these emails deal with sexual performance. Now I need a protection package to block email dealing with ... packages.

You've probably been seen the work of these penis-pill shills: "Increased stamina" and "Firmer, stronger erections" and "Increase blood flow" and so on.

Now, on my planet one does not seriously discuss private parts with strangers. This policy has served me well all my life, so I don't intend to adopt a new one now. However, it seems that something has changed in terms of communication in the other direction. At what point did the presumption of impotence in all men become an acceptable and effective marketing strategy? Don't get me wrong. I'm not dismissing men who actually suffer from erectile difficulties. I wish them all the best (whatever that means to them). I'm just saying that I don't believe I know anyone who would respond favourably to unsolicited messages implying sexual inadequacy, especially first thing in the morning.

It's like a deranged man poking his head into your window and shouting, "Hey, good mornin', has the cock crowed?! Does the cock crow?"

To which you could only reply, "I think he just did."

Furthermore, why quote statistics? Is that to feign sympathy? Or is it to make men feel guilty?

To quote one of the emails: "A recent survey showed that 68% of women are unsatisfied with their sexual partners."

So? How is this my problem? I leave it to 68% (give or take, depending on lifestyle choices) of the adult male population to deal with those women. Leave me out of it!

Besides, my guess is that most men suffering from this sort of problem don't give a damn about the other, er, members of the crowd. As for me, I'm content to keep the private private.

I wish the spammers would do the same.


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