Desperate Housewife?

Last night I saw a middle-aged woman clip and run off with a branch from a spruce bush next to the 7-Eleven a few blocks from my house. When she saw me coming she fled, the branch in one hand, gardening clippers in the other.

...Christmas in the 'burbs.

I saw a lot of strange and funny things during the 12 years I lived downtown, but I never saw anyone steal brush from a mini-mart.